As I type this sentence, I’m sitting in the car while my 23 yo baby boy drives us to the little town where he plans to relocate due to a new job that begins in two weeks. Scouting out apartments, local eateries, where the beaches are (my own personal need), banks and all the other little necessities to get the baby boy set. I should probably add that I’ll continue to call him my baby boy until I’m 92 and in the nursing home on the dementia wing. Ha!!!
It was announced during church today that the baby boy is moving and will have his last Sunday on percussion next weekend. As I squeezed the mic tight, hoping for strength, I kept looking over at him during worship, trying to soak it in. I knew that my baby boy would only play in that role for one more day of worship. One more Sunday to prepare for worship with my son as a member of the worship team. One more time to feel my heart swell when someone tells him after church how he rocked those drums…and honestly, only one more Sunday to feel that old familiar mama-bear defensiveness creep in if someone sneers about how loud the drums were that day. (Super annoying, but whatever. Ha!) But the good stuff is what I will miss terribly in the months to come. The good stuff.
The good stuff includes moments in time spent with those that you love; folks you consider “your people”. Smiles given, smiles received, eye contact shared, acknowledgment made of a job well done or making certain others know, hey, you’re worth it, I love you and you play an important role in this crazy little circle of ours. Don’t forget the laughter which is one of my most favorite ‘good stuffs’ for the crazy situations we find ourselves in at times. (Man, I love to laugh.)
Often we go through life, weekend to weekend, month to month, year to year and never soak in those moments; those good times that we rarely notice until they are no longer. Those little moments that make the memories; the memories worth hanging onto.
I will always cherish the years of his booming foundation in our worship services; always wish for just a few more sundays; always wish it could have lasted a little longer; always wish that I had been a little more intentional with “soaking it in”.
But here we are. Getting him settled into his new life. Will I miss my baby boy? Heck yes. Will I learn the new normal of having an adult son living his own life? Eventually. Will new moms learn from my writings to savor the years so tightly? Probably not. But do I feel better having expressed all of this broken hearted but proud mama’s heart? Yes!
Praying for future visits with my baby boy, in his adult life, sipping coffee together made by him in his very own coffee pot. ~paula